incomplete entry

One of my biggest issues has always been my inability to settle for a suitable major/career choice. It's gone from Biomedical Engineering to Architecture to Biomedical Engineering again to Graphics Design then back to Biomedical Engineering and then Graphics Design again. That sentence is fucked up. I don't care. Biomedical Engineering was more of a choice to please my Father and eventually take over the family business. I never really wanted to do this. I always thought Architecture was cool. I love admiring unique architectural designs. Graphic Design was cool cause I already had the experience and I really dug the art classes. Although, I never really enjoyed the work of creating a design as much as I wanted to. I thought it was cool as fuck, but there was just something about it that had always put me off at the same time.

Janetegritysum!

I love the weather we had today. Gloomy overcast all day. This depresses some people, although, it gets me feeling good and even a little stoked. I'm not sure why, but it has since I was a kid. Another reason why I need to go to the UK. On top of the amazing overcast, its raining now. I fucking love it.

Work was alright. Spent A LOT of time researching film and film equipment. After that, I took some packages to FedEx and then headed home around 5 PM.

Gas prices have dropped so much. I remember when prices were reaching around $5 and thinking they would never go back down. I was so blown away seeing the drops for the first time. Today I got $15 worth of gas for my Jeep and it filled 3/4 of a half tank which is fucking unbelievable for me. Thank god. Spending over a $100 a week to fill up got old really fast.

So I get home, shit happens, I get pissed, then I leave. At first I didn't know where I was going, then I figured why not head to Off The Chain (next to Chain) to check out any posters they may have. I get there and I guess there was some lame indie show going on cause there were'nt that many people and this was around 7 PM. I walk in and notice an older dude behind the counter and that the snack bar area and music gear shop in the back are gone. I say whats up and check out the posters. Nothing. Then I get in a convo with the guy who I then realize is the owner of Chain. He shows me the new stuff they're doing with the place and what they expect to be getting in. They're no longer going to carry all the used CD's and Vinyl like they do now. Instead they will only be carrying the top 20 new releases at a time. He then asked if I wanted to check out what was going on in the back where the large snack bar area used to be. I followed. It looked like there was a lot of work going on with wood, saws, tools, and even scrap metal lying around. He showed me that there was now a hallway connecting to the bathroom hall in the back of chain to this area which was going to be pretty much a lounge. Its going to have a small stage, tables and chairs, maybe booths, im not sure, and a bar area. They're going to have stuff like pizza, ice cream, and booze and the place is pretty much going to look like Chipotle he said. He also said something about a piano style. I wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about that would have this.

So I hung out for a little while longer, checked out some of the merch. Saw an old looking 18v shirt with a suit and a large hand holding a gun coming out where the head would be that read "Just give it to me in the head, baby," all in red. I was tempted but decided not to. I gave my good luck and headed out and while I was sitting in my Jeep outside I ran into someone I hadn't seen since high school. After that, I talked to some guy about a job as security at Chain since I was talking about it with the owner.

Leaving, I was pretty hungry so I headed to Ian's as it started raining, got some Del with the dude, then went home.

I come home and hear word that over at Deathwish Inc. they had put up some new Limited Edition Jake Bannon Silkscreened Prints featuring a Phosphorescent metallic GOLD and SILVER inked Jane Doe(Converge)/Integrity/Colisium A.K.A. Janetegritysum prints and four Trap Them "Seizures in Barren Praise" prints in metallic BLUE, BROWN, SILVER, and GREEN. These were first put up around 2:30 and sold out two hours later. I HAD to get my hands on some of these as I heard that some people were still able to order some. Although, the site has been crashing all day. I finally was able to get through and I ordered these beauties:

Jane, Coliseum, Integrity: SILVER

Jane/Coliseum/Integrity: GOLD

Seizures In Barren Praise: BLUE

Tomorrow I'll be looking for frames.


Till then,
adieu nerds.

If these walls could talk...

I just ordered around $100 of $2 posters for my walls. Glad I finally got back to it. The next time I purchase posters it will be silk screened posters. Thats going to put a serious dent in my wallet.

Also, I just came home from The Spectrum in Irvine. Met some older dude who worked at the Hot Topic there who seemed to share similar musical interests as me. We talked about music for a while and he recommended I check out this Power Violence/Grindcore comp titled, " This Comp Kills Fascists," and was released by Relapse Records. It has some bands I already listen to but there are quite a few I haven't. Insect Warfare is fucking sick.

I went out with the family to dinner today. My Dad wanted to take us to this place out in Irvine called Lucille's Smokehouse Bar-B-Que. Nice place in a nice area.

Our waitress was gorgeous. I ordered their ribs and just looking at the plate I was intimidated. I was full just by looking at it. I picked at my food a little and just drank the drink I ordered. They give you your drink in a jar with a straw. Like a jam jar. Southern as fuck.

Something happened to me during that dinner and I don't know why it happened during that moment, but it did and it all became simple. I found myself at a point where I finally had gained a little clarity after how incredibly complicated it has all been making out to be this whole time. Ripples to calmer water. The image was no longer as distorted as it always had been. I made a promise to myself.

Shut up and drive.

Hollywood Nights

This was a bulletin from last Friday, the 14th. Figured I'd post it here with a few additions that I had forgot to mention in the original bulletin.

______________________________________

The sky is orange.

Felt like I woke up on mars this morning.

Last nights recap:

Took forever to get to Hollywood due to traffic. Then it took forever to find the venue.

We passed by a huge bright sign for a store that read, " Out of the Closet Thrift Stores" with another sign that read "Free HIV Testing Inside." I guess I found it as hillarious as I did because of how much it screamed homosexuality to every passerby. That or I'm really just an asshole. Anyways, I tried taking a picture of it but my shitty phone camera could not handle the purple and yellow brightness illuminating from it.

We eventually found the place only because we decided to park in a supermarket parking lot and go looking for it and then we came upon the one tiny little sign the venue had, but the doors were shut and no one was there. Then some dude walks up to us asking if we were there for the show. Turns out to be a friend of Energy and he tells us the venue moved to downtown LA. Travis starts trippin more balls about missing Shere Khan. We call for directions with the new address. We get there and park in the valley of the bums. The venue looked pretty cool. Kind of like where AFI shot their music video for the Leaving Song Part 2.

The stage had a fucking runway which I later almost fell asleep atop of. Davey Havok and Nick 13 were there with some babe.

Energy did great. This was the one band that I really wanted to see. Not enough kids got into them though.

Cruel Hand was rad. Stage was "wieeeeerd." Nice and thrashy and were dishing out more stomps than Stone Cold Steve Austin. Also, is it just me or does the singer sound A LOT like the singer of No Warning? A bunch of dorks were dancing like dorks for them though. Especially some fat kid in an H20 jersey. It's really the cutest thing when kids wear the shirts of the band they're going to see and by this I mean its incredibly fucking lame.

H20 didn't play Mitts. You're older than us and have a kid. We know already.

Bane played Can We Start Again. Rad. I sat down through most of their set, but sang along for this song.

Had a weird convo with the singer of Energy. Shere Khan never played. This causes Travis to breakdown and not want to chill in LA. Lame.

While trying to get to the freeway we passed maybe over a hundred bums. It looks as if though if you have a tent, and are a bum, you are part of the upper class heirarchy of bums. The lower class being the ones who simply only have a mat or blanket to sleep on.

It's pretty crazy how in LA there can be a street totally upscaled where the rich would hang out and in the next street over it can look like a wasteland.

This was the first show I had been to in almost a year. Unfortunately, and expectadely, not enough to get me out of my mosh retirement. Maybe next time.

And now,

The sky is orange.

______________________________________

And if you're wondering what l I was talking about when I said "the sky is orange," I am referring to the major firestorms that were destroying and killing in California last week.

From the skies, ashes descend.

Fuck...

"I fucking surrender. Oh God, grant me serenity. Please."

It's Friday. I didn't want to go to work today. Just like everyday. I didn't go to Jumma. Im not sure if I feel bad about that and ,subsequently, this makes me feel bad.

I need to find a new job. I'll still come around to handle the stuff we put on eBay. Although, I just want to get out there. Working for family has its perks, but like I said, I need to get out there. Job hunting will soon commence...



Also, I just purchased this online:














Got it from Nordstrom's. Stoked to get this in the mail soon. Completely updating my wardrobe. What I'm going for is sharp. Pricey, but worth it.


Other online purchases:

I'll be purchasing a TON of new posters and silk screened prints for my walls. It's been a while.

The replacement Black Spear Tip Butterfly knife I got last week broke, again. The same bullshit that occurred with the first one happened the second time in the exact same way. I open the package, do a few twirls, and it falls apart with the screw and latch flying across the room. So disappointing. I'll have to find a different knife on a different site. Also, I'll be looking for a switchblade as well. Maybe the Italian Stiletto Switchblade. Maybe.


I'm going to need more money.


Another day,
Another dollar.


Maybe I'm just drowning my worries in material items that will only bring me momentary happiness. Instant gratification has been overcoming me lately. I've been getting stoked less and less for things lately and im not sure how to take my new found disenchantment. It could be that im not kidding myself anymore, but then it just leaves me with nothing. If I had some kind of substance to replace the illusion it wouldn't be so bad and it wouldn't leave me to feel so empty. I won't get into that right now.


"Please God, grant me the serenity to accept the fact that the human race is all things good and all things evil at the same time for all time. Grant me the courage and strength not to give up on what I know is right even though I know it's hopeless. And please give me the wisdom to take it day by day. "