today

was a good day

i want that god damn vest!!!

I was once what you are,

and what I am you will become.

3 hours

til i get up

let these words

move you.

nothing.

nothing hits as hard as the abyss.

never again.

pride

kills

im tired of those dreams.

you pulled me out at the perfect time.

im stoked for the weekend.

Another old unsaid...

It’s been nearly four months since I last felt your touch. We’ve been apart for so long, yet through out all that time its as if though we’ve done nothing but become closer to each other. It’s these nights I spend alone and cold, that I lay my head to the sound of your voice and with it your warmth that I miss so much resonates back to me with an unfamiliar comfort and I don’t feel so alone in this world anymore. I can almost feel you laying right there beside me, but you’re not, yet my love for you has only grown.

im being retarded

Little Red Riding Hood and The Wolf

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

fuck the meteor shower

im going to bed

i love her.

We'll do it all

Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

As the sea breeze hits my lungs

it takes me back to where I belong





Owwwwwwwwwww!!!


I'm home.

"I might not see you.

Have a nice life."

also,

i am a nerd

UFO Diaries

and this shit is awesome

its refreshing

when dreams reveal the underlying truths we seem to forget with time or never quite fully understood.

everyone is subconsciously playing some sort of universal role given a certain position or situation. the special ones are those who, with out ignorance or stubborn stupidity, choose to play by their own rules to succeed in their endeavors.

theres the smaller everyday side of this as well being the way we choose to look and interact with those around us. fuck what everyone else thinks about how certain people should be treated and judged or what characteristics of a person should be given value.

be it because its just the way I am or because I consciously choose to, i go against the grain, i always have i always will, and i will always value and admire those who do as well.

and the other reminder i took with me from my dream, was that there can be profound beauty in the simplest of acts in this world. in the simplest of things. all you need is an open mind to see it and an open heart to feel it.

don't lose touch.

EDGE The Movie

10/03/09 New York, NY USA World Premiere! Helen Mills Theatre
10/05/09 Boston, MA USA Screening Coolidge Corner Theatre
10/07/09 Philadelphia, PA USA Screening TBC
10/09/09 Washington, DC USA Screening St. Stephens Auditorium
10/10/09 Richmond, VA USA Screening Byrd Theatre
10/12/09 Pittsburgh, PA USA Screening TBC
10/13/09 Athens, OH USA Screening Brown Town
10/14/09 Cincinnati, OH USA Screening Warsaw Arena
10/15/09 Indianapolis, IN USA Screening & Show Murphy Building Studio 8
10/17/09 Chicago, IL USA Screening & Talk Roden Library
10/19/09 Detroit, MI USA Screening TBC
10/20/09 Toronto, ON Canada Screening CineCycle
10/22/09 Syracuse, NY USA Screening Palace Theatre
10/25/09 Goleta, CA USA Screening Public Library
10/26/09 Seattle, WA USA Screening Grand Illusion Cinema
10/27/09 Portland, OR USA Screening Hollywood Theatre
10/30/09 Santa Cruz, CA USA Screening & Show Resource Center-Non Violence
11/01/09 Sacramento, CA USA Screening Java Lounge
11/02/09 Reno, NV USA Screening The Hen Den
11/04/09 San Francisco, CA USA Screening Mission Underground Film Festival
11/05/09 Los Angeles, CA USA Screening Rialto Theatre

I want to see this.

food infront of me

good eats on the tv

and hearing from my future wifey

hell

fuckin

yeah

so lets

rock n roll

pulling a jamal

Without naming names, say one thing to someone.
cheer up

Does it really matter if your bf/ or gf drinks?
naw, but keep that shit in check.

Where is the biggest scar on your body?
on my right side lower back from falling off a MOUNTAIN... well not really... but it was on a mountain. you can't really see it anymore though.

Have you ever been caught skipping class?
too slick

Do you hate anyone?
ni

You caught your best friend smoking weed in the school bathroom, what do you do?
DEFEND STRAIGHT EDGE WITH BRASS KNUCKLE VIOLENCE

Do you remember things, or do you have to write them down?
i remember things

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
i hope so

What woke you up this morning?

a text from a beautiful girl whose gonna make me HOOOOOOOWWWWL

Do your parents yell at you constantly about "cleaning up after yourself?"
never

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
not everyone

Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
rarely

What exciting event is coming up?
big things

Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail?
thats creepy

What's so special about what you're wearing?
ete is a great band

Do you have a best friend?
a few

Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can't?
yeah

Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even stand?
haha sometimes

Where did you sleep last night?
in my den

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
the worst thing someone can be is a liar.

What are you doing tomorrow?
work and i gotta take care of some things

What color shirt are you wearing?
the color of night.

Who was the last person you hugged?
i don't even remember

Do you always answer your phone?
i have it for a reason

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot?
mi amor

When is the last time you saw number two on your top friends?
too long ago.

What's on your bedroom floor right now?
stuff

Are you a shy person?
not really

Are you ticklish?
ni

Are you talking to someone while doing this?
ni

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?
why should i

Do you tend to make things complicated?
i prefer them not

What's your pet doing right now?
:(

Last text in your inbox?
jazmin telling me she misses bella

now shes sending me baby pics of him on myspace and its making me bummed

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
not sure

What is one thing in your life that is no longer there, that you miss?
they're still there, just far away.

but bella isn't anymore, and i miss that little tiger.


What is one thing that is currently bothering you?
i need a solid plan

Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them or do you talk to them about it?
depends. if i don't give a shit about the person, i wont do shit. but if i care about them, ill try talking with them to fix it.

Whens the last time you talked with the opposite sex on the phone?
jazmin called me when i was coming home a little bit ago

Aside from waking up, what was the first thing you did this morning?

sexy time

Plan on getting drunk or high today?
allllll day

errr dayy

pfft

When is the next time you will kiss someone?
when i finally see her again

Do you give up easily?
im a fighter

What was the last thing you looked up on Google?
pics of grilled cheese sandwhiches haha


How far is it from your house to Walmart?
this question is laaaame

What was the last thing to make you sad?
the pics jazmin sent me

What are you doing after this?
raging.

i love

that girl

aw hell

ima marry that

i want you to be my wifey

I just want to kiss you

So baby kiss me through the phone

Baby you know that I miss you,

I wanna get with you tonight

But I cannot baby girl and that's the issue

Girl you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you

But I can't right now so baby kiss me thru the phone, I'll see you later on

Kiss me thru the phone, see you when I get home

Baby I know that you like me, you my future wifey
Wolfie man tell 'em, yeah
You can be my Bonnie, I can be your Clyde
You could be my wife, text me, call me

I need you in my life, yeah all day everyday I need ya
And every time I see ya my feelings get deeper
I miss ya, I miss ya, I really wanna kiss you but I can't
eight o nine double three seven nine

Baby you know that I miss you,

I wanna get with you tonight

But I cannot baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now so baby kiss me thru the phone, I'll see you later on
Kiss me thru the phone, see you when I get home

Baby I been thinking lately so much about you
Everything about you, I like it, I love it
Kissing you in public, thinking nothing of it
Roses by the dozen, talking on the phone

Baby you so sexy, your voice is so lovely
I love your complexion, I miss ya, I miss ya, I miss ya
I really wanna kiss you but I can't
nine four nine two seven four zero eight seven eight

Baby you know that I miss you,

I wanna get with you tonight

But I cannot baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now so baby kiss me thru the phone, I'll see you later on
Kiss me thru the phone, see you when I get home

wish

you were here

somethings are better left unsaid.

ive never agreed with that. i dont like when words are left without saying cause what if you never get to say them? and your left with that feeling of regret. but then you say "never regret"
its so easy to run into contradictions like ours.

you fill every void i feel. you say the things i wish he said. i tell you things i wish i could tell him. i understand you. i love you.

i wake up and remember what we talked about remember my dream, review what i saw in my head, and wonder what you drempt about. i hate talking on the phone, i do. and i wish i could call you. you make me feel like im sixteen again. staying up all night on the phone.
the distance for me is easy. i feel like when your just talking into a telephone its easier than talking to a face. ive told you more than i ever had. told you more than i ever planned.
and when you question my sincerity. it hurts. because i know i cant give you all of me, like you make it seem so easy to do. what do i have to do? tell me what it means to give all of me away.
because when you give someone all of you what do you have left when they leave? nothing.
but i feel like i can tell you anything. part of me is curious to see you, how we are now compared to then. or if we (more i) would fall back into old habits. because i spill my heart night after night to the sound of your voice and never to the look in your eye. and i tell you everything without holding back, but ive never shown you. i hear your voice, in your weaker times, and listen when you need me to, but ive never be there when you needed me to.
the big clock to the left of my bed broke some weeks ago and time stands still at 9:45, AM im guessing. ive yet to fix it. my eyes still look to it though, as we talk at night, and im pleased to see ive wasted no time yet. and then its 5 AM.
its so easy for me to find the child in your voice but you never came to me as a child.
you promise to be gentle to me, but ive never experienced you being gentle before. and our most memorable kiss in my eyes was on top of a haunted boat. you kissed me just right and i didnt forget. and part of me still holds on to it. because if i remember it enough, itll feel real.
id give you all of me, if i knew i wouldnt loose myself, if i knew i could handle all of you with the care, love and respect you are supposed to have.
i gave you the worst of me, and i spend every night trying to erase what i did to you.
minute by minute. sentance by stutter. youre my wolfie, and youre three hundered miles away.

ill tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me.
because you dont deserve any less.

Please God, grant me the serenity to accept the fact that the human race is all things good and all things evil at the same time for all time.
Grant me the courage and strength not to give up on what I know is right even though I know it's hopeless.
And please give me the wisdom to take it day by day.

I want to fight the world.

i just want you

all of you

and i want to give you all of me.

p.s. easy on her text inbox, guy. she gets it, you want her legs on, over, and around you...

deeear god...

Aaaaaoooouuuu!!!!!!!!!

I hate this distance.

homesick

Hey darling, I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it
Tell me something sweet to get me by
'Cause I can't come back home 'til they're singin'

La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'

If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best

Hey sweetie, I need you here tonight
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving
Yeah, you want it but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home 'til they're singin'

La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'
La, la la la, la la la

If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best

You know you can't give me what I need
And even though you mean so much to me
I can wait through everything
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually

La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
(If you can wait 'til I get home)
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
(Then I swear we can make this last)
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'

If you can wait 'til I get home

Then I swear we can make this last.

Aaaaoooouuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Permanece a mi lado cuando se apague mi luz …
y la sangre se arrastre …
y mis nervios se alteren con punzadas dolientes…
y el corazón enfermo …
y las ruedas del ser giren lentamente

Permanece a mi lado…
cuando a mi frágil cuerpo le atormentes dolores…
y alcancen la verdad…
y el un tiempo maniaco… siga esparciendo el polvo…
y la vida furiosa sigua arrojándole al mar…

Permanece a mi lado…
cuando vaya a apagándome…
y puedas señalarme el final de mi lucha…
y el atardecer… de los días eternos…
en el bajo y oscuro borde de la vida

already am. always was. and i still have time to be.

as the sea breeze hits my lungs

its takes me back to where i belong

oh yeah?

yeah

When was the last time you were truly and completely happy?
i dont know

What last made you mad?
havent been mad in a while.

Where were you at 2 this morning?
trying to sleep and failing at it

Has the opposite sex ever sang to you?
unfortunately i dont think so. and i get heart eyes for girls who can sing.

Do you think you are a good person?
i try

Do you currently have a hickey?
fuck no.

Do you break things when you are mad?
id have to be really mad, but i usually dont. i punched a hole through the door of my old room once.

Is it okay to kiss people if you're single?
sure

Did you talk to your father today?
yesterday

Are you starting to realize anything?
im realizing a lot of things

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
dreaming of something awesome... too bad thats all i remember

What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?
i dont know

Do you bite your fingernails.
never.

i imagine the nail coming completely off.

Do you like Mexican food?
por supuesto que si

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
stuff

Does anyone call you babe/baby?
nah

Do you want someone back in your life?
hm

Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?
there are holes in my back

Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
i dont know

When was the last time you laughed really hard?
i dont know

What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?
how awesome my dream was

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
sure

but do they want to see me

Does it bother you when people bring up your past?
why should it?

Is there snow on the ground where you are?
ha.

Have your past mistakes made you wiser?
live and learn.

Do you miss anyone?
you could say that

Does anyone have feelings for you?
i dont think so

Are you happy with the choices you've made?
these questions are retarded.

Are you excited?
im chill right now.

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
i dig summer... but i like winter too.

What were you doing last night at midnight?
i might have been on the phone. im not sure, i wasn't paying attention to the time.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
sometimes. i have good discipline for the most part.

Ever kissed someone who was in a relationship?
ha

Do you usually apologize first?
if im the one whose mostly at fault, yes. or if i just want to set aside the bullshit problems and make things right.

Did you sleep alone last night?
if you call that sleep

Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
these questions are retarded

i cradled a fucking SHARK

holy god damn fucking shit. how badass can i mother fuck fucking get?! i'll tell you how much you veggie loving faggot! check this shit out guy

IM PILEDRIVING THE FUCKING ASSHOLE OF THE SEA!!!!!!!! nevermind the gay pink background n shit. this shit is just as hard as THE GREEN MOTHERFUCKING RANGER. you know that smooth motherfucker tommy got down with that pink babe kimberly alllll the fucking time... HARD. oh fuck, look at that stache! deeear GOD is that the manliest fucking stache you ever did see you peach fuzzed pussy! and you wanna know what happens when i flex those bad boys for the ladies???? HOLOCAUST muthafuckaaaa. death by sex-x-x-ay. so... you ever seen anyone else this bloody fucking epicly BAD-ASS???

SHIT NO

fuck it

survey sayyys...

Who was the last female you talked to?
jen

Who is someone that can always make you laugh?
i slay myself sometimes. you should hear.

What were you doing at 6am this morning?
saying words and hitting strings in an empty pool

how dreamy

What were you doing at 10pm?
being a heartthrob at best buy (how classy) playing piano for all the mothers and their daughters

Do you plan on moving within the next year?
who knows where the wind will blow.




the weatherman doesn't know shit.

Are you wearing anything on your feet?
just me.

What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months?
the pleasant uncertainties of life.

but not the unpleasant. fuck those.

Do you remember your dreams?
most times. although lately they've been gaining a nasty habit of not being there when i wake up in the morning :/

Where did your last hug take place?
when i left home

What cell phone company do you use?
sprint. i finally get full reception in my room. call me.

What color is your hair brush?
mean green

Do you watch the Super Bowl?
HELL YEAH BROTHER

ni.

What about World Cup?
i usually can't stand watching field sports on tv. id rather be in the game rather than a spectator behind a screen, know what i mean?

What is the last movie you watched?
i bought watchmen today and watched the watchmen with the good people of chateau jamal

What is your middle name?
the most commonly used name on earth. read a fucking book for once.

Do you have your future children's names picked out?
i did once. i can't seem to remember them though. but i do remember the puta from last summer asking me this question. dear god...

but when i was 5 i wanted to name all my sons jason and all the daughters kimberly. if you don't know why, then delete yourself from my myspace friends list right now. you're no myspace friend of mine.

What color is your mailbox?
silver and cold

Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
depending on which direction im coming from, yes.

i drive fast to avoid the event of troll.

What brand is your computer printer?
i forget. its still in a box.

How many cars can fit in your driveway?
im sure a lot if we stacked them

Who was your Kindergarden teacher?
sister karina and she loved me

Are you taller than your mom?
my moms a cute lil lady. i tower over her.

Do you have any bruises right now?
no but my back hurts

massage?

Are you cold right now?
as ice

Do any of your friends have kids?
the question should be do any of your friends NOT have kids. plugs? piercings? tattoos? cherry picking better than the mexicans? picking up enough change to make bank at the coinstar? the upside down cross? rat tails? flannel? VANS?! fuck all that. its all about having little versions of yourself running around barefoot. thats where its at. and frozen yogurt... i love frozen yogurt.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
yeah.
with a BABBY.
a HUMAN one.

what

What brand are your favorite jeans you own?
matix.

i really need to go out shopping for new clothes though.

What is the closest red object to you?
there are these uber cool red designs on the converge hoody im wearing right now. that count? no? alright then. my big egyptian (and extremely comfy) blanket is BLOOD red... well, not really. just red. with some designs ive never thought about taking the time to notice till right now...

What is your favorite video game?
super mario bros, mk, mgs, duck hunt, shadow of the colossus, darkwing duck, kh

nerd with me

Do you play games on your cell phone?
i used to, but im just not that kind of guy anymore. honest.

Do you look more like your mom or dad?
i look more like adopted.

Have you ever broken a pinata?
broken is an understatement.

Do you have an iPod or Mp3 player?
an ipod classic which is currently chillin hard on his ihome

If someone doesnt like you its probably because:
they have a thing against dudes keepin it classy

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
room mate number 001: doc oc

What are your plans for this weekend?
im playing this one by ear

Have you ever crawled through a window?
ha

Do you lose your keys often?
never

How many keys are on your keychain?
why do i have so many damn keys???? ...did i murder a janitor in my sleep?!?!

When was your last encounter with the police?
the fuzz pulled us over today on the way to rosattis. guilty of being TIGHT.

Do you always wear your seatbelt in the car?
seat belts save lives stupid.
you ain't cool.

guilty of being tight

thrash or be thrashed

im

a hot mess

hmm

pints of guiness make you strong
baby, im an anarchist
esme's song
the artist in the ambulance
canon rock
that song

"i have become one with the land"

i try

any relationship that matters - a friendship, a family, a romance, a band - anything - is a perilous and fragile thing because along with all the amazing experiences and creations that can come from something so intimate and exhausting comes the possibility for things to crumble and shatter or whither and die. when that happens, it's easy to forget what was precious amidst all the disaster. we should always carry our history with us but never let it bury us.



i really do.

purple skies

fucking awesome

EVELYN

IM NOT COMMMMING HOOOOOOME

TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

lately

ive been feeling like my body has been set ablaze


and i just want to spread the flames like a firestorm

i need

my answer


i need a sign.

none of it matters to me

nothing can move me

nothing can touch me


its all minor


nothing matters.

because there is nothing left.

the more i try to make sense of this

the less i comprehend

a fucking story

as long as i feel it lurking inside that void, i don't think i can let myself be happy.



and i don't know if i can go all the way


and i dont know if ill end up selling my soul for nothing


i feel it like a fucking dagger

the music

aim convos
page
text
pictures
place
time
even this entry
everything

insane deja vu right now

Baby, I'm An Anarchist

stay safe

i'll see you two when you get back

is this

what it feels like

So I helped my cousin out with his english homework for college...

Hes been shit outta luck with time and has a bunch of shit to do for school and work so I'm helping him out by doing these bullshit journal assignments for him. I don't update this thing too much anymore so I figure why not enter it in here since its something I wrote.

He just needs something to turn in to his teacher, so I didn't bother spending too much time on it or revising. So its sloppy and poorly written but fuck it. Here it is.

The journal subject was this quote by Shirley MacLaine:

"…in order to get the fruit of the tree, you have to go out on a limb."

The journal entry:

All too often do we find ourselves stagnant in the face of potential reward and gain. We all want but so few are willing to take the risks necessary to get those wants. To some, the comfort of stagnancy blinds the will to take a direction toward a greater but potentially riskier change or outcome. There is no progress with this mind set. Those who bear this chain on their judgments will forever be stagnant in the sloth of the lives they call their own. They wait for the good of this life to come to them, however, the fruit of the tree rarely falls right into the palms of our hands.

There are also those whom have already risked and have lost in the process. They had stuck their necks out and were left with their heads hung low to the floor and the bitter taste of failure and of loss dripping from their wordless disheartened mouths. What they take from this and how they run with it determines how they go about getting the things they want in the future or if they surround themselves within a shell of cowardice and fear. Fear becomes a terrible barrier and the fear of failure through the eyes of reality is the fear of living. Once a person replaces oxygen for fear, they have begun selling their lives short. However, there are still those whom pick themselves up, mend their wounds, ask themselves what they had learned from it all, and continue to take their steps forward. Their will is undeterred and unbroken by the misfortunes of their pasts. Realizing that it remains to the end an experiment of reorienting oneself to a world of uncertainty, they carry their history with them, but do not let it bury them. The fruits of this life can be worth their risks.

knives out

its all or nothing
kiss yesterday goodbye

they say the kids got

saaaaass

these mountains that we climb

are everything they've lost

these mountains that we move
are everywhere we look

just don't look down

no one will catch your fall

ShareKiwiz (2:12:47 AM): sue me
Plague Years (2:12:56 AM): motherfucker i will
ShareKiwiz (2:13:04 AM): fuck bale
Plague Years (2:13:18 AM): now you're just trying to fuck me
Plague Years (2:13:33 AM): you slimey non bromance peice of work
ShareKiwiz (2:14:06 AM): hey bro
ShareKiwiz (2:14:06 AM): hey
ShareKiwiz (2:14:12 AM): dont say things you may regret
ShareKiwiz (2:14:13 AM): bro
Plague Years (2:14:24 AM): brosef
ShareKiwiz (2:14:27 AM): !
Plague Years (2:14:32 AM): you better check yourself before you wreck yourself
ShareKiwiz (2:14:45 AM): optimus dies

Have you ever felt a feeling in your dream

that hurt so bad, that when you woke up and carried on with your morning, it still weighed down on you just as hard as it did in the dream?


Fuck.

Stay

classy.

There is so much to say.

But sometimes I really, really hate words.

So I'll

If I ruled the earth

I'd sail ships over seas til sundown
Then I'd return
In dark to walk these streets alone

By day I hear the serpents calling me
This leads me from the shore in search of the deepest abyss
I am forever covering my tracks, and standing here with less than an existance
Though I hold the key to everything

This sinking feeling never dies
I'll chase my sunset laced with pride in this heartless galleon

Although I'd rather fill my lungs and rapidly descend
And lay with my thoughts under bleak starlight
I'll keep pushing on through perpetual darkness
Then in hell I'll seek my confidence...

Then I'd return, in the dark to walk these streets alone,
The twilight here wont embrace my words like waves do
The feel of dry land is making me sick
So I stand here coughing up sharks till
My neon glowing neck breaks

This sinking feeling never dies
I'll chase my sunset laced with pride in this heartless galleon

Walking through the dark here's to a new beginning
It's time to bow your heads to
A nations swinging axe
While you search for answers planted in the ground

This war with myself never ends
This war with myself never...

The only way I'd return is to an orchestra of wolves
The only way I'd return... if I ruled the earth

I love

my family.

hate me love me suck me fuck me

the line starts to the left

roses are red

violets are blue
some poems rhyme
some poems don't

I love

Miyazaki films.

Just a week

left.


And we won't be breathing in that same sun again.

The sun had already come up by the time I got home.

I still have paint on my hands.

Awesome

We're really excited to announce that Brand New is going to be playing a short string of shows in the US in small clubs in July. These shows will be the ONLY shows Stateside this summer, so it's going to be hard to get tickets. We're thinking of you, though and as usual, we're going to be doing a special presale through Ducat King starting this coming tuesday June 2nd at noon (local time.)

The show dates are:
7/7 Chicago, IL @ Subterranean
7/8 Detroit, MI @ Magic Stick
7/9 Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop
7/10 Philadelphia, PA @ Northstar
7/11 Brooklyn, NY @ Music Hall of Williamsburg
7/12 Cambridge, MA @ The Middle East (Downstairs)
7/17 San Francisco, CA @ Slim's
7/18 Los Angeles, CA @ The Troubadour
7/19 San Diego, CA @ Epicentre

Pre-sale tickets will be on sale TUESDAY JUNE 2ND at 12pm local time and you can get them here: http://brandnew.ducatking.com

Tickets will go on sale to the general public on June 11th.

I love this weather.

Après Moi le Deluge

Ride The Lightning

I think it's raining out. Actually im pretty sure it is.
Flashing light seeps through the window in off time beats along with the rumbles.

It reminds me of Raiden.
Ha...


I was watching Conan earlier tonight. Tom Hanks was his guest and he began talking about his thing for meteor showers. Apparently, the next one is going to be on my birthday, August 12th.
Rad.

I'll plan on getting away from the city lights on that night to look up at the lights in the sky. Considering where I plan on being by then, i'm glad the desert will be so close.

Or maybe I'll be home on that day.

I don't know.



This song/video is sweet.







I'm hungry. I think I'll go out and get something to eat.

Things have been looking so well.

So stoked.

The wheels are in motion

Rad.

Rock n' Roll

Deal with it.

The Path

Marching towards salvations end
I take your hands and walk the wrong way
But will we notice that this is not ours
What are you and what am I
A tragic fucking joke?



I was much too young to understand when first told the words.

How they now resonate as the sound turns to silence and brings me with it understanding.

Falling upon remnant embers of a passion I lost.

Of a fire I let die.

Of a love I turned my back on.

But never turned its back on me.

It never left me even when I was dragging myself away to the lions.

To the death.

Embracing the end with the promise of forever.

But I can feel you weighing down on me when the day turns its head.

And last night I held the weight of the world.

As I walk towards the reflection.

And look the fucker in the face.

I recognize the ghost.

Tired and worn yet relentless.

Eyes like a fucking storm.

They hold me by the throat yet blow me the fuck away.

And you come crashing down on me with all your might and all your glory.

I open these eyes and I can see you again.

In a blurred mess of a form yet strong enough to captivate me.

I open this body and I feel you breathe and it fills these lungs.

I open this soul and you illuminate so bright this heavy darkness burns to fiery light.

There is so much work to be done.

And i'll begin in the city of sin.

I'll walk this path.




Enough distractions and insincerities.
No more lying to myself.
Back to the plan.
And it's about fucking time.










I have no regards to give.


K.T.D.

Sunday Night

I had no idea i was standing next to Brandon from BT. I shoved him and didn't even know it haha.

A lot of old school heads that night.

Good times had at the show and hanging out after. Then we all watched movies till we were all dead fucking tired. Funnnn night.

Heres a vid:

I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor.

I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

HOLY

SHIT

WOW

woah

Haha

Oh man...

Raimi you silly devil you

MUST SEE DMTH

Don't blink.

You might miss it.

I love life

and all of its potential.

There is so much in me.

STREET JUSTICE SUNDAY

BAM!

This is how we

rock.

I always liked this scene.

The World Is Flat

Favorite B9 quotes...

"Robert Langdon spilled the beans on where Mary is, I know it."

"Pokemon are real."

"cloned dinosaurs"

"History Channel's first reality show is going to air."

"all that shit that is going down in 2012 is being moved to 2010. Just wanted to give us a heads up. That is super dope of them to do, thanks H channel.


looks like they may need to put a rush on that 2012 movie seeing as its release date is 2011"

"Jesus is gonna call down some UFOs to address the whole 2012 issue and clear up the discrepancy with the release date of the movie."

"I keep telling you assholes that we live in a goddamn computer simulation.

Just accept it and everything will make sense."


"I am debating between watching this, the basketball game, or Monday Night RAW. What a big decision this is..."




The show is called "The Link" and its on right now and its about this:

"An incredible 95 percent complete fossil of a 47-million-year-old human ancestor dubbed Ida has been discovered and, after two years of secret study, an international team of scientists has revealed it to the world. The fossil’s remarkable state of preservation allows an unprecedented glimpse into early human evolution. Discovered in Messel Pit, Germany, it represents the moment before anthropoid primates--the group that would later evolve into humans, apes and monkeys--began to split from lemurs and other prosimian primates. This groundbreaking discovery fills in a critical gap in human and primate evolution."


Meh. Already brushed on it in the paper.



But how the fuck does this make September 11th a lie?

Faithless Is He Who Says Farewell When The Road Darkens

Rather let me fail,
than never to have tried at all.
Come what may,
nothing short of death will see me cry defeat.
Rule every moment.
Seize every day.
By storm. By the throat.
With every breath I take.
It's not what you cannot do,
it's what they told you you cannot do;
So fire your gun into the mouth of doubt.
Let the masses dictate themselves.
I am not now theirs, nor will I ever be.
They won't crush my hope.
They can't smash my dreams.
I am not inspired by men without faith.
I am not deterred by events that cause the average man to break.
Rule every moment.
Seize every day.

Bill Murray

This man,

Bill Murray



Bill Murray...

Bill

Fucking

Murray

...is the fucking man.


On a side note:

Friends with deluded issues against me need to get their ego filled heads out of their ego filled asses. Take a good look at yourselves, the things you've done, and the things you haven't before you pass judgment on me as well as on others. Relinquish your bloated ego, your false pride, and childish pseudo morals. True friendship knows not those trivial things...




So anyways,

Bill Murray...

Bill

Fucking

Murray

...the fucking man...



That is all.


Now back to watching Lost In Translation...

open it now... now... now... alright now...

driving adventure
creatures of the motherfucking sea
driving adventure
ghosts on a motherfucking boat
kees kees
driving adventure
succulent breast and motherfucking waffles
sweet drive
sweet time
ahh-mai-gad lady
yogurt on motherfucking land

laying on the beach forgetting the world

amazing day.
amazing girl.

Beautiful girl,

I may not always be perfect,
but I'll always try.

SEEKERS OF THE TROOF

+ Cruel Hand (stomp fest)
+ Outbreak
+ The Mongoloids



What a keeper.

And your head starts to spin
As you dance to the beat
Because tomorrow isn't promised
But it's sure as fuck is coming
And your body starts to shake
As you sing in the streets
Because it's cold outside
So you better start running




And I know it's not always so easy to see
But we are still all so fucking beautiful to me

10 for $10 hardcore summer tour

Official press release:

IndieMerchStore.com is bringing back the hardcore matinee! Amid economy woes, rising show costs and the dilution of hardcore packages, they will present the 10 For $10 summer tour. Ten quality bands for ten dollars, headlined by Poison The Well, who will be performing on every date, and on separate legs of the tour headline spots from Madball, Bane, and Vision Of Disorder. Also appearing will be established bands with rabid followings such as Terror, Death Before Dishonor, War Of Ages, Crime In Stereo, Trapped Under Ice, The Mongoloids, The Ghost Inside, This Is Hell and Vision. Speaking on the creation of the tour, booking guru Tim Borror of The Agency Group said, "This tour is important because hardcore music is a lifestyle and has been an inspiration to the people who get involved and know what the movement and music is all about. In the last few years the crowds have been a bit smaller than what they should be and we hope an idea like this where kids are getting an opportunity to check out a lot of bands for cheap will inspire some new kids to come out, get involved and become a part of this scene to help it grow."

Echoing the sentiment Freddy Cricien of Madball said, "This 10 for 10 tour concept is way overdue in my opinion. I'm glad and thankful, that the people involved, stepped up to actually make something like this happen! Our genre [hardcore] in the states, is in a 'strange' place right now. There is somewhat of a lack of appreciation for this 'sub-culture.' A lot of people want to say they know certain bands, or are affiliated with this underground scene,etc,etc... Because it gives them some credibility, it sounds cool! Well, this is everyones chance to re-introduce themselves, and actually get involved with a very unique and authentic genre/movement. It's also a chance for all of us, the bands, to show our stuff as well!"

Poison The Well's guitarist, Ryan Primack, says, "This tour is really exciting to us as it shows some massive diversity that occurs in the hardcore scene. I think it's really amazing that Tim put this group of bands together. Some of bands on this tour have really shaped the good things that are happening in hardcore right now. Without some of the bands on this tour I doubt we would even be a band. We're honored and privileged to be sharing the stage with them."

7/9 Philadelphia, PA @ The Trocadero
7/10 New York, NY @ Terminal 5
7/11 Baltimore, MD @ Sonar
7/12 Jacksonville, NC @ Hooligans
7/13 Knoxville, TN @ Valarium
7/14 Louisville, KY @ Headliners Music Hall
7/15 Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade
7/16 New Orleans, LA @ The Hanger
7/17 Houston, TX @ Java Jazz
7/18 San Antonio, TX @ White Rabbit
7/19 Dallas, TX @ The Max
7/21 Tempe, AZ @ Marquee Theater
7/22 Pomona, CA @ Glasshouse
7/23 San Francisco, CA @ The Grand Ballroom
7/24 Los Angeles, CA @ House Of Blues
7/25 Chico, CA @ Senator Theater
7/26 Seattle, WA @ King Cat Theater
7/28 Edmonton, AB @ Starlite
7/29 Calgary, AB @ Warehouse
7/31 St. Paul, MN @ Station 4
8/1 Kansas City, MO @ Midland Theater
8/2 Denver, CO @ Gothic Theater
8/4 Chicago, IL @ Metro
8/5 Grand Rapids, MI @ Intersection
8/7 Clifton Park, NY @ Northern Lights
8/8 Sayreville, NJ @ Starland Ballroom
8/9 Worcester, MA @ Palladium
8/10 Montreal, QC @ Fou Founes
8/11 Toronto, ON @ Opera House
8/12 Detroit, MI @ The Majestic
8/13 Cleveland, OH @ Peabody's
8/14 Buffalo, NY @ Xtreme Wheels


Sweet.

Road Trip?

Enticing.

But probably not.

World So Blind

Growing up in this confusion
one day you find the solution
and youre so angry at this world
Cause you know theres something wrong
Your frustration runs deep
Hated for the life you lead
They stay deaf to what you say
They dont want truth anyway
I know its hard some times living in this world so blind
Ridiculed for everything you see them treat you like the enemy
Hated and disowned, but youre not alone,
Had enough of their institution
Cause theyre world is an illusion
You stopped living the life they need
Cause this time youre right
Theres a fire inside you
The same fire inside me
Let knowledge fuel this fucking flame
And let it burn so bright the world can see
I know its hard sometimes living in this world so blind
Ridiculed for everything you see them treat you like the enemy
Hated and disowned, but youre not alone,
just let the truth be your guide
And youll always have an ally in me.
Had enough of this confusion
This life is just an illusion
You realized the truth of this world
And its time to spread your vision

Theres a weapon inside you
The same weapons inside me
Lets lift the blindfold from this world
So everyone can see what we see

Has your heart ever skipped a beat?

Who we are and what we want to be,
is nothing without the heart to see
that where we're going is our own destiny,
not another's life that was chosen for me.

Zero Chopper

I want.

A Firestorm, To Purify

I hate hardcore kids.
Not really.
I hate lame new jack hardcore kids.

So I went to Earth Crisis at chain last night and it was the first show ive been to since Madball in February. I feel like im too old to dance at shows anymore. There were the lamest kids there wearing hockey masks looking like fucking jokes. Dancing increadibly uncoordinated and just looking retarded yet thinking they're hard as fuck. It was embarrassing. I saw a lot of older faces that I thought I'd never see at shows again. So that was cool. Force played their last set ever (till their reunion, it always happens) and kids went nuts. But I just wanted exc to play so I could leave already.

When I saw exc set up I couldnt believe it. Their guitarests play on full stacks of X SHAPED CABS. So obnoxiously edge haha. Their set wasnt as good as I was hoping and it was mostly cause the sound guys fucking suck.

Once firestorm hit, I lost it. "STREET BY STREET. BLOCK BY BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I sang along, I headwalked, I stage dived. It was pretty much the one song I was waiting for all night. I got up on stage for the last sing along and karl gave me the mic all to my self. "A FIRESTORM, TO PURIFY." Haha. Shit was EPIC. There were photographers on stage so hopefully i'll be seeing myself in some sweet photos.

And now Im getting ready to see my wolf princess.
AAAAUUUUOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Wouldnt it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldnt have to wait so long
And wouldnt it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldnt it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together weve been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldnt it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldnt be a single thing we couldnt do
We could be married
And then wed be happy

Wouldnt it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldnt it be nice

Leap of Faith

You can trust me if I can trust you.

For you,
these walls come down.

Enjoy The Silence

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Cant you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence

Some things

are better left unsaid.

Scars on my sleeves
Heart in my hands
This world owes me nothing
But a hard road to walk

when I see me in your eyes

i just want to go blind
when i build coffin worlds with words
i just want a place to hide
when old ghosts meet new regrets
my daylight fades to gray
when our days bring guilt and shame
my heart turns black
these are my tombs
painted black and blue
these are my tombs painted
just for you
goodnight
goodnight dear
goodbye
black rose
be my light
in the darkness of nights
be my heart

I am reminded.

I am peripheral movement
I am a figure without form
I am a person seen from a distance
Rebirth to a new life transcribed in wires
From a new life
Growing to hate decisive moments
The only thing within a breath of real
So now i fall to my knees and beg in earnest
To what powers may govern the sky
Just let me sleep one night without these dreams
These dreams that always haunt me
Nothing
Life gets longer the day i realize
I can't breathe deeply enough to fill me
With every disappointment
Nothing Happens
And the man i might have been
Nothing Ever Happens
And all the great things that i will never do
Growing to hate decisive lows
All i can do is watch it pass
I resonate at the pitch of discontent
I am peripheral movement
Life gets longer today I realize
I can't breathe deeply enough to fill me
With every disappointment
And break my heart the way it deserves
Nothing Happens
And the man I might have been
Nothing Ever Happens
And all the great things that I will never do



I am regret.

I think I did more harm than good

to the situation and myself.

I held back. I couldn't fully be myself. I didn't take control and take the opportunity.

P.S.

I fucking love the Indiana Jones ride.
Fuck.

I want to go on fucking adventures around the world.

That is what I want to fucking do.

Indiana Jimmy... Haha.

Chaz says he's down too.

JML
CHZ

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN

Fuck

I can't get you out of my head.

The happiest place on earth huh?

Goin' to Disneyland in a bit.

Haven't been there in years.

I'm not as stoked as I should be. Hopefully that changes once I'm there.

Time Will Prove Everything

I feel nothing.

I lost myself.

Over the past couple of month's, I really have grown to mask so much of who I am and what's inside. There have been moments that I have slipped while in despair. I broke down about a month ago. And I totally saw it coming months ahead. Everything was falling apart and I mean fucking everything. My world was crumbling. Only one person who still stands beside me knows the complete truth of that day. To anyone else who thinks they know, they know nothing. I shouldn't have to prove myself.

I look down on the cowards, traitors and thieves, but I've realized that I have also let fear influence my actions. It's the reason why I hide behind a mask with the ones I love. Fear of being bare again. Fear of leaving myself vulnerable just to be torn apart again. Fuck. I've lost so much because of it in my life. I wish I hadn't let my little insecurities keep me from seeing the person I wanted to see more often or saying the deeper words I felt inside. I was blind, but once I opened my eyes it was already too late. I tried to make it right again, but I guess I fucked my image up too much by that point and created a stigma and lost respect. I wasn't being me. The feeling died and it just got ridiculous. Looking back I can see why things turned the way they did. I mean, it's not like I wasn't the only one that was fucked up, but shit, if I had known I was hiding what I was, I wouldn't have. And there was no front. None. Every word and every action was fucking real. All of it was sincere. All I did was dress them up and held back to keep my composure. I used to stumble over my words growing up all the fucking time and I fucking hated it. I hated looking like a awkward dork. Did you ever think about that? I remember I always wanted to be the kid everyone fucking wanted to be with or around. Just like you. I wonder how things would've turned out if I had managed to open up sooner and talk about these details with each other. How I hated who I was. No one except for one other has a fucking clue. So through the years I worked on myself. And the person you met was the product of all that work. Smooth right? Cool guy, ha. I'm not fucking getting into this again, but I find myself being that awkward dude stumbling over my words again. I'm so distracted. So anyways, in the last days I went too far in the opposite route being wayyy too fucking dorky while still holding back the real me. It's hard, but the best things in this life don't come easy. You just gotta hold on I guess. Or maybe I got it all wrong. I was all twisted up inside. Confused about what to do and suspicious that I was in some game. I just needed that one chance to to look you in the eyes and feel the truth. Now we won't know. As far as what common interests go, I wanted the same thing. The same fucking thing. That life to call our own. I just wasn't sure in the beginning. By the time I knew, you had already broke your word and let go. I didn't. I'm so stubborn but when I see substance I can't just let it die. No matter how fucked it already is or even if I don't know how to go about it.

I feel like I'm babbling. I didn't think I'd write about this shit again. I feel nothing anymore. I feel fucking nothing. All there is are the thoughts that allude me. They won't fully leave me. I felt like gold the other night, but then another revelation hit me in the shower and the thoughts continued. I'm feelin' fine though. I just know something great that could have been is now lost. You're only as hard as you are on the outside because of how soft you are on the inside and you're not over the past. I saw right through. Maybe I should've said something, but whatever. It's too late now.

And I can tell when someone's blowing their heads the fuck up. All that attention. Eat it right up.

And I re-read the lyrics of that song today. The one wrapped around your side. That is what I felt for you inside. I didn't show it but I absolutely pushed everything aside for you. Even in my mind, you always had center stage. And I still find it hard to get you completely out of my head. Even with how fucked things became. I was planning on finding an acoustic somewhere and recording a cover of that song last week and sending it to you somehow or dropping it off at your house. Eventually playing it for you. But you let go and so I have as well.

Day by day, I'm gaining my life back. You can't rely on others to fill the emptiness inside.

I have way too many opposing layers within myself.
I am contradiction.

I'm sure I can find my answers on my own but maybe I'll find someone with the patience and understanding to help me along the way. I know I already have someone who is already doing so, but I mean it in that other way.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring.



I am bare to the world.

Now it's time to put the peices back together again. I'm taking what matters and tossing the bullshit.


Time will prove everything.

The Broken Vow

Those nights we had and the trust we lost
The sleep that fled me and the heart I lost
It all reminds me
Just how callous and heartless the true cowards are
And I write this for the loveless
And for the risks we take
I'll take my love to the grave
As tired and worn it is
I'll take my love to the grave

Hahaha

Oh God.

Get real.

;]

Resurgance

What's up with the lack of good music these days?
Fuck.

Although, theres something about that new Burden of a Day song that I just LOVE.

KZII multiplayer is fucking sweet. Gonna play that in a little.

I want to get a hair cut, new clothes, and some sweet classy fucking shoes.
I've been working out lately. Gotta step it up though.

Also,
Chaz and I are gonna start this acoustic shit soon.
Females of the world...
Brace yourselves.

You're livin life now

in big head mode.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

If it still means anything

Show me

You can't kill what is already dead.

I'ts not hurting. That was the three weeks prior to talking again.

I just know potential when I see it.

The last few days I tried being chill and not so pushy about stuff. I had held back my real feelings while at the same time being way too much of a dork. I doubt that was it though.

Whatever.

Time will prove everything.

Two options

I can stay gold and be bare to the world again.


Or I can put that mask back on and never take it off again.

I may have forgot everything I was

But I fell in love with the potential of that life to call our own.

I let go.

On/Off

Ha.

This morning

I opened my eyes and breathed easy.
Without a cloud above my head.

Finally.

Today my heart collapsed.

And the feeling in my stomachs like a knife in my back.
And it's too damn short for me to get a grip
and pull the fucker out before it sticks.

Today my lungs collapsed
And I'm choking on my blood which has all turned black
And everything I'm spitting out
Just spells your name.

Why, oh why, would you use that one.
You know I never used it, cause it just ain't on.
Can you pull it out of me please
Cause it really fucking hurts and Its making me dizzy
No? Well fine, then ill tell you what.
I'm gonna tell you that I love you till my breathing stops.

Today my heart collapsed
Everything was fine and now I'm ready to relapse.
I can't understand how you made it through
I'm totally fucked cause I'm falling for you...

Today my lungs collapsed
and I'm choking on my blood which has all turned black
and everything I'm spitting out
I'm spitting out.

Why would you use that one
you know I never used it cause it just ain't on.
Can you pull it outta me please
Cause it really fucking hurts and it's making me dizzy
No! Well fine then I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna tell you that I love you till my breathing stops.

The black heart king
has met his black heart queen
forgot everything he was
for the taste of her skin
his nights no longer lonely
once he let her in
and by the orchestra of wolves
you can hear him sing.

Lets make this

work.

I can't fucking eat.

I can't fucking sleep.

The Chance

It astounds me how much of an idiot I can be at the worst times. How I can let my ego and pride blind me from my actions with those I care about. How I let my anger, pain, frustration and disappointment further the dagger. And the things I lose in the process that meant so much.

That isn't me. Not the real me. Although, at times I have let these influence my actions and outlook, my feelings are always the same. In fact, sometimes it actually bothers me how unconditional I am. How hard it is for me to try and hold a grudge or just be angry at someone who I care for but has hurt me. It's also hard for me to show that I have been hurt and this goes back to my pride and ego. However, my feelings are always consistent. It can be hard for me to express that when the person I care about matters so much to me. The fear of the past and of loss. It's stupid, I know, but that's how it was. I couldn't really see it till recently either.

I always assumed that those I cared for could see past my sarcasm and closed book personality, and be confident that I care for them, but that's not always the case. And it's not until I can absolutely trust someone that I can be completely open and honest with my feelings. I really do wear my heart on my sleeves. I've just been fucked over and stabbed in the chest too many times to not fear the loss of someone significant to me due to my own insecurity and shame. I thought I was so secure. Thought I was solid. Guess I'm not as solid as I thought I was.

"You've been very unsure of yourself lately."

I lost sight of the person I was. Everyone can see it. I tell them all I'll be fine and I will.

I'll put the pieces back together someway. It's still beating.