wish

you were here

somethings are better left unsaid.

ive never agreed with that. i dont like when words are left without saying cause what if you never get to say them? and your left with that feeling of regret. but then you say "never regret"
its so easy to run into contradictions like ours.

you fill every void i feel. you say the things i wish he said. i tell you things i wish i could tell him. i understand you. i love you.

i wake up and remember what we talked about remember my dream, review what i saw in my head, and wonder what you drempt about. i hate talking on the phone, i do. and i wish i could call you. you make me feel like im sixteen again. staying up all night on the phone.
the distance for me is easy. i feel like when your just talking into a telephone its easier than talking to a face. ive told you more than i ever had. told you more than i ever planned.
and when you question my sincerity. it hurts. because i know i cant give you all of me, like you make it seem so easy to do. what do i have to do? tell me what it means to give all of me away.
because when you give someone all of you what do you have left when they leave? nothing.
but i feel like i can tell you anything. part of me is curious to see you, how we are now compared to then. or if we (more i) would fall back into old habits. because i spill my heart night after night to the sound of your voice and never to the look in your eye. and i tell you everything without holding back, but ive never shown you. i hear your voice, in your weaker times, and listen when you need me to, but ive never be there when you needed me to.
the big clock to the left of my bed broke some weeks ago and time stands still at 9:45, AM im guessing. ive yet to fix it. my eyes still look to it though, as we talk at night, and im pleased to see ive wasted no time yet. and then its 5 AM.
its so easy for me to find the child in your voice but you never came to me as a child.
you promise to be gentle to me, but ive never experienced you being gentle before. and our most memorable kiss in my eyes was on top of a haunted boat. you kissed me just right and i didnt forget. and part of me still holds on to it. because if i remember it enough, itll feel real.
id give you all of me, if i knew i wouldnt loose myself, if i knew i could handle all of you with the care, love and respect you are supposed to have.
i gave you the worst of me, and i spend every night trying to erase what i did to you.
minute by minute. sentance by stutter. youre my wolfie, and youre three hundered miles away.

ill tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me.
because you dont deserve any less.

Please God, grant me the serenity to accept the fact that the human race is all things good and all things evil at the same time for all time.
Grant me the courage and strength not to give up on what I know is right even though I know it's hopeless.
And please give me the wisdom to take it day by day.

I want to fight the world.

i just want you

all of you

and i want to give you all of me.

p.s. easy on her text inbox, guy. she gets it, you want her legs on, over, and around you...

deeear god...

Aaaaaoooouuuu!!!!!!!!!

I hate this distance.

homesick

Hey darling, I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it
Tell me something sweet to get me by
'Cause I can't come back home 'til they're singin'

La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'

If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best

Hey sweetie, I need you here tonight
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving
Yeah, you want it but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home 'til they're singin'

La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'
La, la la la, la la la

If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best

You know you can't give me what I need
And even though you mean so much to me
I can wait through everything
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually

La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
(If you can wait 'til I get home)
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
(Then I swear we can make this last)
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'

If you can wait 'til I get home

Then I swear we can make this last.

Aaaaoooouuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Permanece a mi lado cuando se apague mi luz …
y la sangre se arrastre …
y mis nervios se alteren con punzadas dolientes…
y el corazón enfermo …
y las ruedas del ser giren lentamente

Permanece a mi lado…
cuando a mi frágil cuerpo le atormentes dolores…
y alcancen la verdad…
y el un tiempo maniaco… siga esparciendo el polvo…
y la vida furiosa sigua arrojándole al mar…

Permanece a mi lado…
cuando vaya a apagándome…
y puedas señalarme el final de mi lucha…
y el atardecer… de los días eternos…
en el bajo y oscuro borde de la vida

already am. always was. and i still have time to be.

as the sea breeze hits my lungs

its takes me back to where i belong