somethings are better left unsaid.

ive never agreed with that. i dont like when words are left without saying cause what if you never get to say them? and your left with that feeling of regret. but then you say "never regret"
its so easy to run into contradictions like ours.

you fill every void i feel. you say the things i wish he said. i tell you things i wish i could tell him. i understand you. i love you.

i wake up and remember what we talked about remember my dream, review what i saw in my head, and wonder what you drempt about. i hate talking on the phone, i do. and i wish i could call you. you make me feel like im sixteen again. staying up all night on the phone.
the distance for me is easy. i feel like when your just talking into a telephone its easier than talking to a face. ive told you more than i ever had. told you more than i ever planned.
and when you question my sincerity. it hurts. because i know i cant give you all of me, like you make it seem so easy to do. what do i have to do? tell me what it means to give all of me away.
because when you give someone all of you what do you have left when they leave? nothing.
but i feel like i can tell you anything. part of me is curious to see you, how we are now compared to then. or if we (more i) would fall back into old habits. because i spill my heart night after night to the sound of your voice and never to the look in your eye. and i tell you everything without holding back, but ive never shown you. i hear your voice, in your weaker times, and listen when you need me to, but ive never be there when you needed me to.
the big clock to the left of my bed broke some weeks ago and time stands still at 9:45, AM im guessing. ive yet to fix it. my eyes still look to it though, as we talk at night, and im pleased to see ive wasted no time yet. and then its 5 AM.
its so easy for me to find the child in your voice but you never came to me as a child.
you promise to be gentle to me, but ive never experienced you being gentle before. and our most memorable kiss in my eyes was on top of a haunted boat. you kissed me just right and i didnt forget. and part of me still holds on to it. because if i remember it enough, itll feel real.
id give you all of me, if i knew i wouldnt loose myself, if i knew i could handle all of you with the care, love and respect you are supposed to have.
i gave you the worst of me, and i spend every night trying to erase what i did to you.
minute by minute. sentance by stutter. youre my wolfie, and youre three hundered miles away.

ill tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me.
because you dont deserve any less.