Fuck...

"I fucking surrender. Oh God, grant me serenity. Please."

It's Friday. I didn't want to go to work today. Just like everyday. I didn't go to Jumma. Im not sure if I feel bad about that and ,subsequently, this makes me feel bad.

I need to find a new job. I'll still come around to handle the stuff we put on eBay. Although, I just want to get out there. Working for family has its perks, but like I said, I need to get out there. Job hunting will soon commence...



Also, I just purchased this online:














Got it from Nordstrom's. Stoked to get this in the mail soon. Completely updating my wardrobe. What I'm going for is sharp. Pricey, but worth it.


Other online purchases:

I'll be purchasing a TON of new posters and silk screened prints for my walls. It's been a while.

The replacement Black Spear Tip Butterfly knife I got last week broke, again. The same bullshit that occurred with the first one happened the second time in the exact same way. I open the package, do a few twirls, and it falls apart with the screw and latch flying across the room. So disappointing. I'll have to find a different knife on a different site. Also, I'll be looking for a switchblade as well. Maybe the Italian Stiletto Switchblade. Maybe.


I'm going to need more money.


Another day,
Another dollar.


Maybe I'm just drowning my worries in material items that will only bring me momentary happiness. Instant gratification has been overcoming me lately. I've been getting stoked less and less for things lately and im not sure how to take my new found disenchantment. It could be that im not kidding myself anymore, but then it just leaves me with nothing. If I had some kind of substance to replace the illusion it wouldn't be so bad and it wouldn't leave me to feel so empty. I won't get into that right now.


"Please God, grant me the serenity to accept the fact that the human race is all things good and all things evil at the same time for all time. Grant me the courage and strength not to give up on what I know is right even though I know it's hopeless. And please give me the wisdom to take it day by day. "